Man shoves whole hand in

Makes no sound and bites his lip

Silent puppet tear

8/10/09
Overnight Lodgers
Have Club to Travel Hotels
They are the Inn Crowd

8/9/09
Crushing a Lightbulb
Place Shards in a Bowl with Spoon
It's a Light Diet

8/8/09
A Bum Walks All Day
Wore Out Bottoms of his Shoes
Homeless Have No Soles

8/7/09
Farmer Hates His Bull
Must Find Some Sort of Revenge
Paints His Barn Bright Red

8/6/09
Met Keyboard at Bar
Broke up but Dated a While
It was Not My Type

8/5/09
Man Has no Bullets
Shoots Man in Head with Loose Change
Penny for your Thoughts

8/4/09
Spins Web by Window
Watches Unsuspecting Kids
Spider the Spyer

8/3/09
Like Thermometers
Queen Could Tell Temperatures
Both had Mercury

8/2/09
Jail Baby Chicken
Watching Others Through Window
Could not Stop Peeping

8/1/09
It's Cowboy Ketchup
No One Wants to Duel with Him
Calls Mustard Yellow

7/31/09
They are Forever
Given in an Act of Love
Diamonds No Herpes

7/30/09
Look for Place to Live
Move into Former Brothel
Home Less Ho is Me

7/29/09
She Looks so Stunning
Ranks in the Top at Pageant
Has been Miss Placed

7/28/09
Cow Boxing a Goat
Cow Fights Clean While Goat Does Not
Low Blow to Udder

7/27/09
Waste Line Converted
Now Carries Stormwater Flow
Unsanitary

7/26/09
Standing Over Bowl
What was for Dinner Last Night
Oh Asparagus

7/25/09
A Party City
What Happens in Vegas Stays
Not Chlamydia

7/24/09
He Enters the Ring
Silent White Face Wants to Fight
Mimes Make Best Boxers

7/23/09
Try to Flush the Seeds
Must have Gotten Stuck in Pipes
Growing Toilet Trees

7/22/09
Immature Children
Grow to Immature Adults
Join Pen Fifteen Club

7/21/09
Baseball Shatters Glass
Tormented Never the Same
Feel the Windows Pane

7/20/09
Little Creature Eats
Gasping he Can't Find Papa
Choking Smurf Turns Blue

7/19/09
It is Dark Outside
Driving Should Turn on Headlights
Thump Thump there goes Rex

7/18/09
Great New Invention
Measures Kings, Czars, Chiefs, and More
A Ruler Ruler

7/17/09
Fell in Love with Sun
So Bright so Hot so Gassy
Is Light of my Life

7/16/09
Tails Teeth Shedding Skin
Giant Lizards Get it On
Dinosaur Love Fest

7/15/09
Arsonist Sets Blaze
To Celebrate Friends new Home
Poor House Warming Gift

7/14/09
Has Emergency
Man can not make his Phone Call
Poor Sausage Fingers

7/13/09
Man Needs Coffee Cup
To High They Fall from Above
Man Gets Mugged at Work

7/12/09
Trying Hard to Pass
I learned Important Lesson
Socks not Edible

7/11/09
Kettle has Bad Day
Yells it is Getting Steamed
It is Just Venting

7/10/09
Call it a Crime Scene
Someone Violates Curtains
Headlines Man Rapes Drapes

7/9/09
You are What you Eat
Implies Hungry are Nothing
Anorexia

7/8/09
Bald Man Puts on Hat
Wants to Avoid a Sunburn
Gets Eaten by Shark

7/7/09
Archeologist
Hit by Car on Way to Work
Has a Bone to Pick

7/6/09
Bovine Takes to Air
Hundreds of Feathers Flutter
Hail Buffalo Wings

7/5/09
Keys on a Piano
Try as Hard as you Can Try
They Open No Doors

7/4/09
Follow Recipe
Add Seven Too Many Eggs
A Cupcake Mistake

7/3/09
Cacti May Grow Slow
But you can Rest Assured
They have Spikes in Growth

7/2/09
Getting so Tired
Need to Find a Place to Rest
Sleep on Flower Bed

7/1/09
Donald Duck Get Out
He is Kicked Out of the Mall
He has no Pants on

6/30/09
Try to Look Out Door
Door Hole Shuts 'Cause of Your Race
Damn Racist Peephole

6/29/09
Indian Lacrosse
Homecoming Celebration
T.P. the Tepee

6/28/09
They just got Married
They Walk into Spiders Home
They are Newly Webbed

6/27/09
Gross Vegetables
Girl Tries to Give them to Friends
No One Wants Her Peas

6/26/09
Driving in my Car
Bloodied Windshield Smashes in
Raining Cats and Dogs

6/25/09
Psychotic Baker
Makes Treats from Rumps of Rodents
Mole Asses Cookies

6/24/09
Waiting for a Cab
A Strange Driver Pulls Over
He is a Muppet

6/23/09
Pianist Nervous
Can not Go Out on the Stage
He Forgot His Keys

6/22/09
Deer Ousted from Home
In a Parking Lot Thirsty
Ingests Anti-Freeze

6/21/09
Right Below my Wrist
Seedling Growing out of Hand
It is a Palm Tree

6/20/09
Fruit Vasectomy
To Emasculate the Grape
It is Now Seedless

6/19/09
Takes off Shirt too Fast
Undoes his Belly Button
Intestines Spill Out

6/18/09
Rat is in a Play
He turns to the Audience
Reveal Pest Aside

6/17/09
Wife Watches Husband
Get Eaten by Swarm of Sharks
No Dedication

6/16/09
Take Each Step Careful
Lose Balance and Roll and Bounce
Fat People and Stairs

6/15/09
This Little Piggy
Shops at Underground Market
Bought a New Kidney

6/14/09
Samurai Carrot
Battling in Open Field
Smote by Blade of Grass

6/13/09
Goes in Hot Real Hot
And then Comes out Much Hotter
Yay Buffalo Wings